There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
