We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
