I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
