my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
