My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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