i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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