I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
