one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
