is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
