So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
