I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
