What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
