you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
