Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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