Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize