No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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