Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
