that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
