me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
