SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize