it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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