But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
