Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize