My nipple is on Facebook.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
