UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
