Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
