Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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