I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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