My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
