i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm both gender and math confused
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
