Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You don't make any sense
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