I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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