i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
