he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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