spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
