I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
