How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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