watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
