ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
