gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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