Buhtt sex?
handjob tips. give me some.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
