I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
