Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
