can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize