Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
