i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
