Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
