I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
