I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
