piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
