Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
