I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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