Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
