Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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