He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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