I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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