Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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