hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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