Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
