that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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