this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
