while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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