i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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