you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
