im drinking this country out of the recession.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize