Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
