I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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