I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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