I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I have aggressive nipples.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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